How can I make it sound more professional?

Prime sat down in the seat across from Sin. "That went good. Ace wanna holler at you and tell you how things going in DC. You already talked with your godfather, Remo Salieri. You talked with our lawyer, Silverstein earlier. And after you talk with Ace that’s it. You can enjoy the party thrown by the lovely Donna" Prime explained.

Sincere got up and went to mini-fridge in the corner of the room. He grabbed two bottles of cold Moët et Chandon which he kept in there. He handed one to Prime.

"You deserve it Prime" Sin told his life-long friend as he got the corkscrew out of his desk pocket. Sin walked out to the gorgeous balcony by sliding open the acardia door. It was breezy but just knowing they were true blue millionaires it didn’t bother them. Sin popped open the champagne and watched the champagne simmer down a story into the glistening snow.

Donna had outdone herself with the Christmas decorations. Nobody was in the backyard right now but it was fully decorated. Snowman’s, Reindeer’s, and other symbols of Christmas glowed with it’s lights. The house itself was lit up with christmas lights. It was beautiful. Sincere loved that he had a wife that really liked to do it. This time around always reminded him of his grandmother Florence. She always decorated the house in exciting decorations. Sin smiled when he thought of her small body putting up the Christmas lights on the living room windows. Family from Virginia, North Carolina, and Connecticut would come together for that week and celebrate. They would drink egg nog, play cards, and give eachother gifts. Sin still couldn’t believe his grandmother was dead, going on ten years now.

Prime took a swig of his champagne. "Man we really here Sin. Can you believe it God" he exclaimed, thinking back on the days he was poor growing up in Brownsville cold streets.

"Yeah I can believe it dog" Sin said, throwing his arm over Prime’s neck. "A huge part of this success is you man. A huge part of it. While we here I wanna give you this. Stay right here" he stated as he went back into the office and dug in his desk drawer then came back on the balcony. "Here nigga" Sin handed him a velvet box. Prime looked at Sin then opened it. Inside was a Rolex Oyster watch. It had a 36mm stainless steel case, fluted gold bezel, custom white Mother Of Pearl Dial with raised diamond hour markers, and stainless steel and 18K gold Jubilee bracelet.

Prime broke out into a huge smile and huged Sin. Sin threw his arms around his street brother and while he held him he said "Prime, I love you kid don’t forget that". Prime was a year younger than Sin, twenty five, but he felt like the little boy that used to follow Sin around the projects.

"Yall gone get a room or what" a voice spoke interrupting their brotherly moment. They turned around to see Donna staring back at them. The doorway seemed to enclose her like a border would a lovely photograph-one that glistened. A shaft of light from the window caused the lavishly sequined dress to shimmer like any luxurious Chanel dress would. The Chanel baby-doll dress draped her body with purpose, ending right above her knee in a classy style.

They broke off from their embrace laughing at Donna’s comment.

"Hey baby" Sin asked, kissing Donna’s Mac smeared lips. Prime greeted Donna with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Donna came out on the balcony with Sin. "What are you looking at Sincere Frazier?" Donna sarcastically asked as she smiled uncontrollably as Sin eyed her in that sexy get up. Sin walked over to her and grabbed her in a tight but comfortable hug and kissed her once more.

"I’m looking at the sexiest girl in the world" he complimented.

She was extremely gorgeous and to have a spectacular body didn’t hurt either. Donna had knew Sin for close to ten years before they hooked up. Sin was in her brother Kevin’s street gang during the mid-70s. Sincere had got locked up on numerous charges in ’85 but got his case appealed two years later and won. When he came home he noticed just how sexy Donna was and she wasn’t like the other neighborhood girls. She went in at 8PM, even on the weekends. She was a college chick and had attended Howard University for close to two years before dropping out. Although her husband shoveled in thousands a day in drug profits she wanted her own money and worked as secretery at Manhattan lawfirm. On the weekends she attended Business Administeration classes at NYU.

Sin took his time telling Donna how she had outdone herself with the Christmas party. He told her how viviating she looked in her dress, how nice her hair looked. Compliment after compliment he gave her making her mocha latte skin tone blush.

He told her he had something for her and went into his office and came back with a fancy gift-wrapped box.

"What is it boo?" she asked, shaking the box lightly.

"Just open it Di-Di" he urged her, smiling at the same time. He waited for her to open it with his arms c

Related Blogs

    Twitter It!

    Eén gedachte over “How can I make it sound more professional?”

    1. If you are going to use a lot of slang …. holler, hooked up, shoveled in in terms of money is slang, etc… it will sound like you’ve written it which is very choppy and low education… tone down the slang to bring the tenor of your writing up.

      Re-read each paragraph out loud to see how it flows.. What you have up there is very difficult to understand. Spread the details out you don’t have to shovel them down our throats on the first page, spread them out and let them become part of the story.

    Reacties zijn gesloten.